Knight Versus Queen

(C) 2022 by Jim Hamilton

The early rays of the morning sunlight pierced the chintz curtains while cheerful birdsongs crept in through the slightly opened window. Neither of them was helping the throbbing in my head as I woke up with a slight hangover from one too many glasses of wine. It had been two weeks now and I had to force myself to move on. I didn't feel like getting up, but my bladder was being quite insistent, so I gingerly sat upright and caught my bearings before making my way to the bathroom. The next order of business was to struggle with the cap on the ibuprofen bottle. Why do they have to make it so hard to get relief? I wondered, as I tried to line up the two arrows. I cursed the pharmaceutical companies with one of my mini-tirades as I swallowed two of the caplets and followed them down with a swig of water from the tap. "Today is the first day of the rest of my life!" I proclaimed out loud to my reflection in the mirror. My doppelgänger stared back at me, clearly not convinced.

The doorbell rang and I grabbed my robe, pulling it on about me as I descended the stairs. "I'm coming!" I yelled, as I patted my hair into place as best I could. I threw open the door, expecting to see Vivian, but was confronted with a middle-aged man in a suit.

"Are you Beverly Anne Queen?" he asked, holding out an envelope.

"Yes, I'm Beverly Queen." I instinctively grabbed the envelope. "Who are you?"

"I'm a process server and you've just been served, ma'am." He turned and walked away.

Dumbfounded, I watched him climb into his blue car and drive off before closing the door. I stared at the envelope which was addressed to me and ripped it open. Inside was a notice from the Superior Court of Orange County. As I read the summons, my disbelief slowly turned to anger. He can't be serious! By the time I reached the end, whatever feelings that I might still be harboring for David had completely evaporated. The fact that I had been served on my thirtieth birthday was the proverbial icing on the cake.

I needed Vivian now more than ever. My phone was upstairs and I returned to my bedroom to call her. She answered on the third ring. "Happy birthday, Bev! I'm leaving soon to head on over to your place."

"I just got a birthday present from David." In spite of my best effort, tears started welling up in my eyes. "He's suing me in small claims court!"

"Seriously?" The disbelief was evident in her voice. "On what grounds?"

"He wants his ring back."

"Oh, Bev, honey!" She paused for a moment before continuing. "When's the court date?"

I blinked away the tears as best I could and looked at the summons. "Three weeks from now. At ten o'clock."

"Okay, then. We have plenty of time to prepare for it." I could hear the smile in her voice. "You stay put and don't do anything stupid. I'll be there in a half hour. We got this, girl!" She hung up on me in her usual abrupt fashion.

Bless her heart! Just hearing her voice cheered me up. She's always got my back!

* * *

Vivian had dated a lawyer last year and she tapped him to help with our strategy. He explained that, under California law, I had to give the ring back because I had been the one who had broken off the engagement. In order to keep it, I would have to convince the judge he had wronged me and that I deserved it as a consolation prize for good behavior. The marketing director that Viv was currently dating volunteered to help out and he worked with the lawyer to formulate a campaign of sorts. Thanks to their moral support and assistance, I was not only ecstatic, but also chomping at the bit to have my day in court. David Knight, I gloated, you have no clue as to what you have awakened!

* * *

In spite of all of the preparations, butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach. I've never done well speaking in front of strangers and the small room housing the court provided no relief. I glanced to my right where David was sitting behind the small table on the plaintiff's side. He caught my look and I stuck my tongue out at him before facing the bench once more. The elderly man with white hair in the black robe—Judge Moreland—had been assigned to my case and it was rumored that he was a rabid misogynist. Based upon that, I had filed a request for a female judge, but it had been denied. I was prepared for the worst.

"The court will now hear the case of Knight versus Queen." The judge smiled at David and then at me. "When I first saw this on the docket, I thought that I might be judging a chess match." He laughed at his own joke. Addressing David, he said, "As I understand it, you proposed to the defendant in good faith and she canceled the wedding with no explanation as to why."

"He didn't deserve an explanation!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"And I didn't deserve being jilted by text message!" protested David.

The judge's jovial expression instantly disappeared and was replaced with a deep scowl. He glared at me. "Let me explain how this works, young lady. I ask someone a question and that someone, and only that someone, answers it." He eased up. "You'll have your turn, soon enough." I meekly nodded as I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. Vivian patted me on the hand for reassurance as the judge turned back to David again. "So, she canceled the engagement and you want the ring back. Is that right?"

David nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. It's a family heirloom that originally belonged to my grandmother."

The judge glanced at his watch before turning back to me. "Is this true? Did you call off the wedding as the plaintiff claims?"

"It's more complicated than that, Your Honor." I started to explain but he stopped me.

"It's a 'yes' or 'no' question. Did you call off the wedding or not?"

"Yes, Your Honor." This wasn't following the script we had rehearsed and my armpits began to perspire in spite of my heroic efforts to remain calm. Right on schedule, I moaned to myself.

The judge shuffled the papers in front of him before looking back at me. "The law is quite clear in this sort of matter. Unless you have proof of some kind of agreement you might have had with the plaintiff to keep the ring, you are legally bound to return it." He was actually smiling at me as I concentrated on sending daggers from my eyes directly into his. "Do you have any such agreement?"

I sighed in resignation. "No, Your Honor."

"Okay," he nodded. "That resolves the plaintiff's case against you, as far as I'm concerned." He began leafing through his papers once more before continuing. "Next, we have your counterclaim against the plaintiff for ten thousand dollars to compensate for your broken heart." He dared to smile at me again. "Before I order you to give the ring back to the plaintiff and dismiss your countersuit, is there anything that you would like to say?" He looked at Vivian. "Or, does your witness have anything to add?" I had thought that it was all over, but now it looked like I would get my turn. Hot damn!

My pulse quickened and I took a deep breath before speaking, "Yes, Your Honor. I brought some exhibits with me, if I could be permitted to show them?" He nodded and Viv began setting up the two display stands with the poster boards her boyfriend had prepared, making sure that they were angled so David could see them as well as the judge. As she did so, I continued reciting my lines. "These will clearly show why I canceled my wedding plans and why I no longer want anything to do with this reprobate." I glared meaningfully at David before continuing. "It also explains why I deserve to keep the ring as a booby prize."

The judge glanced at his watch again. "I don't want to drag this out forever. You have ten minutes to make your case."

Yes! Ten minutes was all I needed. I stepped over to the first poster with the heading, THE PRIMROSE PATH, printed in a pretty pastel-pink font. "This poster shows the timeline of our relationship." I pointed to the first item. "It all started nearly a year ago with my broken watch." I indicated the second poster which showed a closeup of my Rolex. "My watch quit working and I took it to an authorized watchmaker to be repaired."

The judge leaned forward, studying the photo. "Is that a Rolex?"

"Yes, Your Honor. It belonged to my mother and it's nearly eighty-five years old.  And if you know anything about them, they can only be properly repaired at a Rolex service center. The watchmaker at the Rolex place told me that the mainspring was broken and there were no replacement parts available. When I asked him if he could make one, he laughed right in my face. He said that watchmakers no longer make watches, they just repair them with replacement parts. No parts, no repair. Of course, he didn't bother to tell me this without first charging me three hundred dollars to crack it open."

"Umm, how does this relate to your case?"

"I'm getting there, Your Honor." I took a deep breath and started off again. "I Googled watchmakers and eventually ended up at a place called Knight and Son that was located in a seedy strip mall in Riverside."

"I take it they were bona fide watchmakers?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. It only took the old man a moment to diagnose my broken mainspring without even opening the case. When he said that he could make a new one for me, I didn't doubt him. He told me it would take about a week and I gave him all of my contact information and left."

The judge sat back. "Let me guess. The plaintiff is the son of the watchmaker."

I was surprised at his perspicacity. "Yes, Your Honor. A week later, my doorbell rang and it was David—the plaintiff—bearing my watch. A Trojan horse, if you will. His first wily step in worming his way into my heart."

Moreland smiled. "Your ten-thousand-dollar heart that is now broken."

I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "Yes, Your Honor. He introduced himself and delivered my watch in a fancy display box. He explained that his dad had not only made a new mainspring, but he had cleaned it as well. Needless to say, I was thrilled with it and I felt obligated to invite him into my house for some coffee. Big mistake." I looked at David. "After all, a vampire can't enter your home unless you invite them in."

"I really hate to interrupt your meander down Memory Lane, but in the name of brevity, I'm going to assume that you fell head-over-heels in love with the plaintiff. I'm going to further assume that you had a whirlwind romance full of quiet walks along the beach and pleasant evenings over candlelit dinners." He pointed to my timeline. "I'm more interested in what happened near the end where it says BOOM in angry looking letters."

I tried to look nonchalant. "Oh, that? That's when I found out that he was married!"

For the first time, Judge Moreland looked taken aback. He turned to David and asked, "Is that true, son? Are you married?"

David looked confused. "No, Your Honor. I'm not married. Never have been, for that matter."

I removed the poster displaying my watch to reveal a large photo of David and his wife. "This is a picture that the plaintiff's wife sent me. Her text, in all caps, read, STAY AWAY FROM MY HUBBY OR ELSE!" My eyes started tearing up as I recalled the moment. "I was shocked. I was hurt. I was angry. I texted David and broke off the marriage in no uncertain terms. Then I immediately blocked him from calling me back. I wanted nothing to do with him."

"So, you never gave him a chance to explain?" asked the judge.

"Look at the photo, Your Honor! What other possible explanation could there be?" I removed it to reveal another photo. "Or how about this one?"

The judge faced David again. "Is this you in these photos?"

David was clearly puzzled. "Yes, Your Honor."

"Do you know this woman?"

"Yes, I do, Your Honor. She's the waitress at the pub where I meet some guys every other Thursday night to play pool."

"Did you ever have an intimate relationship with her? Like what's indicated in these photos?"

"No, Your Honor." A look of understanding slowly washed over David's face. "Every time I see her, she always jokes about how we're going to get married someday. Now that I think about it, she didn't seem terribly happy when I told her I was engaged." He walked over to the display to get a better look. "Look here, this is clearly photoshopped." He pointed to a detail. "My arm's at an unnatural angle and I'm missing a finger." He looked at me. "I can't believe Miriam would do something like this."

I wanted to believe him so badly. "So, you aren't married? And you still love me?"

He put his arms around me and gave me a heartfelt hug. "No and yes. Of course, I still love you, Bev. When you broke off the wedding and never told me why, I was heartbroken. Just like you." He smiled. "Do you still want to get hitched?"

Did I? "Oh, yes! The sooner, the better!"

"I can help with that," said the judge. "Please come forward and stand before me." I smiled at David through my still-teary eyes as we stood together facing the bench. David reached out and I took his hand in mine. How could I have been so stupid?

"Do you, Beverly Anne Queen, promise to love, honor, and cherish your husband until death do you part?"

"I do, Your Honor."

"And do you, David Knight, promise to love, honor, and cherish your wife until death do you part?"

"I do, Your Honor."

"By the power vested in me by the Great State of California, I now pronounce you man and wife!" He grinned. "The plaintiff will kiss the defendant!" As our lips met and I swooned in David's arms, the judge brought down his gavel. "The case of Knight versus Queen is hereby dismissed."

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